October 19th came and went, unnoticed, uncelebrated. I allowed others’ needs to get in the way of what deserved my attention. For that I owe myself an apology. It’s a very important date for me, the 7th anniversary of things left behind and of an unknown future embraced.
After 18 years of working in a left-brain field (..finance) for a large corporation, I dove into truly unknown waters. The joy I found below the surface was almost immediate, and my right brain shouted, “YES!”. Released, my artist child cried for attention. And more importantly, she paid attention to life with a whole new set of eyes.
For seven years I have done my best to follow my heart, there where my dreams live and where my love lives also. I have dared to sing, to paint, to act in film & stage, to narrate, to dance, to draw, to teach people how to read, how to write, how to speak, to help bring literary communities together, to love (yep), to write ... and to RIGHT my life.
It’s been quite an adventure. And for as often as it has been exhilarating, it's also been frightening. I mean, it’s okay that steak or wine is no longer a staple on my menu. But there are days (like this one..) when I’m just not strong enough to fight off the fear that can come with not knowing how to pay for the oatmeal, so to speak.
For nearly seven years now, every day when I rise and dress, into my right-hand pocket I tuck my note, a prayer that I wrote at the beginning of this journey, and keep with me - there always to remind me of what’s important in life. A heart-shaped worry stone keeps it company (it still has some wear left!). But I’ve lately been thinking of revising the note.
I think that seven years calls for that, doesn't it. I need to remind myself of what this scrappy little paper tucked in too quickly some days, is all about. I need to review where I’m at, and with pen & paper, spirit and soul, rewrite my prayer, my desired place in the universe. Mostly, I just don’t want to forget how important it is to pay attention.