always

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Always wear clean underwear, my mother would say, in case you get in an accident, you know?

What accident? I asked anxiously. Why does my underwear need to be clean?

Well, in case they have to take you away by ambulance, of course. I would be so embarrassed to have a child of mine show up at the hospital wearing soiled underwear.

But, I would stumble on, I might not even be conscious, mom.

Exactly! she would continue, and they might have to cut your pants and panties off with you in no condition to apologize or explain to the good doctors why on Earth you’re wearing yesterday’s undies!

Well, but mom... that young girl all those years ago could not wrap her mind around the thought that if I were to be run over by a truck or something, and I was hurt enough to be hauled off in an ambulance, unconscious, doctors cutting off my clothes so they could...what?...try to save a limb, my mother’s primary concern would be with whether or not I had worn clean panties that morning before leaving the house.

The girl's grown up, but she's still in the dark on this, I'm afraid . . .
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